Thursday, 5 February 2015

Saturday, 10 January 2015

Why join the Godllywood Group?

Is there a need for you to be part of the Godllywood Group in order to be a woman of God? Find out what I think...

Thursday, 4 December 2014

A Note of Apology

I’d like to apologize to one of my best friends. Looking back, I realized that I have not been such a good friend to her. These are but a few examples. Prepare yourselves… it’s bad!

When she shared her most precious dreams with me, instead of encouraging her, I filled her with fear and doubts. “But, aren’t you aiming too high, friend?” I’d ask. “Are YOU fit for that? Be careful! Maybe this is not for you, friend… forget it!” Well, I thought I was saving her from disappointment, but I was killing her dreams.

When she told me of her plans to change, inside of me I laughed in disbelief. In a skeptical tone, I reminded her of the many times she’d tried to change and failed. Why would this time be any different? I thought I was helping her be realistic, but, in fact, I was keeping her a prisoner to her mistakes.

When she would try to speak up and give an opinion, I would shush her. “Better not,” I’d say. “What if you say something to embarrass yourself? You never know what people are going to think. What if they judge you? You’re better off quiet, friend.” I thought I was sparing her shame, but I was silencing her voice.

When she made mistakes, I made sure she never forgot them. I thought if she always remembered them, she’d never commit them again. Everyday I’d point out her mistakes. I thought I was teaching her to be a better person, but I was making her pay for something her Lord had already paid for.

After a lot years of this bad treatment, she finally had enough and found the courage to tell me how she felt. She told me that if I wanted to continue being friends with her, I had to change the way I was treating her. She wasn’t going to accept this kind of treatment anymore, because she deserved better. She wasn’t going to accept being friends with someone who put her down like that anymore. She was finally raising her standards, and anyone who called herself her friend, had to treat her with dignity and respect.

When I heard her say, I was very shocked. It finally hit me how much of a bad, negative friend I had been. I was heartbroken to realize how much pain I had caused. My intensions were good, but what I did was horrible. But, while I felt bad when I realized how much she suffered because of me, I also learned to respect her. I’d known her for years, but it was like I was seeing her for the first time. It was like a new woman was standing before me… the woman who stood before me understood her value! So beautiful!

“Dear friend,” I told her with a broken heart, “I am sorry! I am sorry that I did not respect you. I am sorry that I hurt you with my words and bad choices. I am sorry that I offended you so many times. I am sorry that I didn’t believe in you. I am sorry for the things that came so naturally to me, but caused you deep pain… please forgive me!” This note of apology is for my very best friend… Moti Bernardino! Yes, it’s for myself!

This year, I worked on the second most important relationship in my life, after my relationship with God… my relationship with myself! I learned to truly value myself. The penny finally dropped. I raised the bar. I decided to treat myself with the same respect and dignity that I give to others. I would never dream of saying half the things I said to myself to others. So, why is it acceptable to say those things to myself?

Now it’s your turn. How is your relationship with yourself? Maybe when you read my note, you thought, “How could she have been so mean to her friend?” But, you accept yourself to be cruel to yourself. Deep down, what have you been thinking about or telling yourself? Raise your standards and build a better relationship with yourself!

Remember, you’re stuck with yourself forever! Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to treat yourself well? If there’s anyone you value, anyone you take good care of, anyone you treat the best… it should be you!

I’ve missed sharing my experiences with you! JJJ

A big hug filled with love!

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Using Your U-Factor

A while back, God told me I was too low-key and that it was high time I stopped hiding. My reaction was instant! ‘Moti Bernardino? Low-key?’ (Yes, I sometimes have the odd habit of referring to myself in the third person – only in my head!) Now, anyone who knows me will understand why this message seemed odd to me. Of all the words I could find to describe myself, low-key would not come close to making the list. I am as conspicuous as they come. But, practicing the open-mindedness I wrote about in my previous post, I listened. And, then the penny dropped.

I had a growing, nagging feeling that I wanted to be a role model. Day in and day out I would implore God to use me to reach out to young girls, to make a difference in their lives. And, in that single thought that crossed my mind, which I recognized immediately as the Voice of God, I understood why I wasn’t this role model I wanted to be. I was too low-key! I was too busy hiding myself, being plagued by my insecurities and complexes, which were telling me that I wasn’t good enough to be a role model. I compared myself to others around me and found myself falling short. I saw that what my friends around me were doing was working and I wanted to have the same results as they were having, but there was just one problem with that whole scenario. I didn’t have the same talents they had. I could not do what they were doing.

And, that’s why it is so important that you discover what your talent is. (Find out how from this blog post). Friends, discovering your talent is like discovering your map to greatness. It is the one thing that sets you apart from the rest, the one thing that makes you exceptional, the one thing you are brilliant at, the one thing God has given you to make you shine. Once you find out what your talent is, you will discover your U-Factor – your uniqueness factor.

Now, I have told you that humour is my U-Factor, right? Isn’t it comic to think that that’s my map to greatness? But, there you have it, it is! Not so long ago a young woman approached me, all comfortable around me, like she’d known me for years. The thing is, I didn’t know who she was, but she had been listening to Love, Life and Lipstick, our radio programme on Liberty Radio, every Monday and Friday at 9pm. After telling me how funny I was and how I made her laugh, she went on to share how something we had said on the radio had helped her. She doesn’t know this, but that young woman changed my life. She helped me realize what my U-Factor was and got me to embrace it.

Now, enough about me! Your turn! You too have a U-Factor and you may not be embracing it, because you are not aware of it. Now, you may not be aware of it, because it isn’t conventional. It isn’t usual. Maybe, like mine, it is odd and even comic. But, your U-Factor is what impresses people the most about you and what sets you apart from the rest. Don’t fight it, accept it and use it to draw others to you, be it in business or in your personal life.

About a man who multiplied his talents, this is what the Lord Jesus had to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” But, to the one who buried his talent and did not use it, He said, “You wicked, lazy servant… Throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Need I say more?

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Happy New Year... Will it be?

I hope this year brings you a lot of success, I truly do, but the truth is, if we all continue doing the same things over and over, we are never going to get new results. So, whether or not this year will be new will be determined by whether or not you do new things with your life this year. Change will come with the decisions you make, not because the calendar year has changed. What is it that has been keeping you from achieving what you’ve always wanted to achieve, whether it is losing weight, overcoming an addiction or forgiving a loved one who has hurt you? Whatever it is, identify it and change it. That’s the only way this year is going to be new for you.

Here is a tip I’d like to share with you for achieving growth in this New Year – keeping an open mind. Simple… yet not so simple! 

See, I wish this were the case, but fact is, we are not born knowing everything. In fact, apart from instinctual things like breathing, chewing, etc., everything we know, we’ve had to learn. But, the thing is, the more we grow older, the more we think we know it all. The harder it gets to accept other peoples’ opinions and ways of thinking above our own. When people come to share different views with us, we start becoming defensive. We defend our point of view and hold on to it like we are the authors of truth. Well, we are not! The truth as we know it is not necessarily absolute. We make mistakes. We get things wrong. And, I’m sure you will agree with me, holding on to a wrong idea and defending it with your dear life is well, unprofitable, and anything you do that isn’t profitable is a waste of time.

So, this year, to make the most of your time, keep an open mind and be willing to consider the weight of other people’s constructive criticisms and opinions. But, as the wise say, the truth hurts and that’s a fact we can’t escape from. So, be prepared. It will hurt, you will feel a strong urge to reject the truth and defend yourself… I should say ‘we’, because I’m sure this applies to me too. We just have to push through the pride and appreciate that someone cares enough about us to tell us the truth. Therein, my dear friend, lies the difference between an individual who grows and one who is stagnant. Which one are you going to be this year?

Well, I wish you a year of open-mindedness and therefore, a year of personal growth. Happy 2013!

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Identifying Your Talents

Hi friends, it’s been a while, but it’s so good to be writing again. I've missed writing and reading your comments.

Now, here is a random fact about me, or maybe not so random, for those of you who know me. I am funny! Hmm, to be honest, it’s strange even saying it, because if you asked me, I don’t think I’m funny at all. However, so many people have told me I am, that at some point, I had to start believing it. And, it isn’t till recently that I realized that this is a talent.

Although there are exceptions, most of us tend to shy away from compliments. That’s because we are so used to criticizing ourselves, that when people compliment us, we always find a thousand reasons why the compliment isn’t valid. That’s not humbleness, by the way. It’s yielding to insecurities. The problem with often yielding to our insecurities is that they never allow us to discover our talents – the things we are good at! And, if we don’t know what our talents are, how can we use them, right?

So then, how can you discover your hidden talents? By listening to those around you. What are they saying about you? What are the things that impress them the most about you? Your cooking skills, your party planning skills, fitness? With me, it’s always my sense of humour. Every time we have Secret Santa with my friends, two things get portrayed about me – my loudness and my sense of humour. (Well, my loudness isn’t a talent, just a fact of life I’m trying really hard to change, lol). Once I identified that my sense of humour is my talent, I started embracing it, instead of being embarrassed by it.

Tomorrow I will share with you how I’ve been using my talent in my quest to win souls and how it’s been helping.

How about you, what are your talents? Take time to identify them, because you were given those talents not so they could stay hidden. They are there to serve a greater purpose and unless you identify them, even when they are seemingly meaningless, you will never use them to make a difference around you.

Leave your comment below!