You would think that just because I am a Pastor’s Wife, actively involved with God’s Work, I am impeccable and have all the answers, right? Well, if that is what you think, and you want to keep maintaining that illusion, then you should skip reading this blog because, I am about to disappoint you! Fact is, I am just an ordinary human being, striving to fulfil an extraordinary calling. I don’t always get it right the first time around. I don’t know it all and so, I have certainly made a lot of mistakes, one of which is a mistake that many people make as well.
See, I had a dream. It was a dream that God planted in my heart, one that wasn’t going to be easy to conquer, and I knew that. I knew that it would definitely require a lot of sacrifice from me in order for it to come true. And so, I began my journey fighting for my dream, enthusiastic, looking at my ultimate goal – true happiness! But, somewhere along the line, as always, I met with obstacles that distracted me from my dream. The first one I faced head on, because my eyes were on my target, as did I the second one, the third, and so on. But, as time went on, I made the mistake of stopping to focus on my goal – my desire to be happy by living my dream – and, I started paying attention to the obstacles coming my way. I started keeping count, and as you can imagine, at one point, I told myself that I had had enough! They were simply too many! So, sadly, I let go of my dream. I gave up, because pursuing it was just too costly! Needless to say, I still have that dream, and it’s still unfulfilled!
Why do we do that? Why do we let go of our precious dreams? I mean, nobody, none of the more than six billion people in this world has a dream that that will bring them pain in any way. Our one common denominator, whether we are black or white, Muslim, Hindu or Christian, male or female, American or European, is that we all want to be happy. We all want to be content, satisfied and fulfilled, each and every single one of us. So, if our dreams are ultimately meant to bring us that much happiness, why then do we let go of them? Ironically, and this is perhaps one of life’s biggest conundrums, we let go of our dream to be happy, because we want to be happy.
Doesn’t make sense? Well, compare your dream to the top of a mountain! You know that nothing will give you any more happiness than reaching the top of that mountain. You have a clear picture in your mind of how good that view will be and how satisfying it will be to stand on top and look below, and you want to experience that. But, there’s a tiny detail you have to consider. In order to get to the top, you have some climbing to do! Then you begin! But, of course, a lot happens on your journey to the top. Your muscles start feeling the strain, your legs start trembling, you run out of breath, you start feeling exhaustion, you become thirsty and hungry and to top it all, it starts raining! Suddenly, you are so frustrated and so unhappy with the climbing, you forget your goal of making it all the way to the top, and set your eyes on a new goal – relief from the sacrifice it requires to get to the top. Now, your focus has shifted, you just want to stop hurting. Get it? You want to be happy again. And, you give up, because now, your focus has shifted from your true happiness, the fulfilment of your dream, to immediate happiness, relief!
I confess I sought relief and forgot that, though that relief was immediate, it could only come by getting back to where I had started in the first place – at the foot of the mountain, in the valley! I also forgot that I had lived most of my life in the valley, and therein, I did not and could not achieve my dream! There was a clear separation between the valley, my comfort zone, and the top of the mountain, my dream. That separation was the climb, the sacrifice. I chose to give up and lost valuable time of fighting for my dream. I can now beat myself to death about it, wallowing in the ‘why’ and the ‘how could I’ or I can start climbing again. I now know with absolute clarity that during my climb to the top, the rain is bound to come, and so are exhaustion, dehydration, hunger, the heat, the cold and many other obstacles. How am I going to deal with it all? Like I should have in the first place! By trusting in God, and persevering! I brace myself as I begin my journey. Turning back is no longer an option! See, I am now prepared to right my wrong! This time, I am going all the way to the top! Would you care to join me? Come on, let us dare to dream again!