I’m sure we’ve all experienced it. I certainly have and if you haven’t yet, I hate to say it, but you will. I am talking about that moment when someone you care about so deeply just turns around and does or says something so unimaginatively hurtful. I remember many such moments in my life. At times I was left practically O-mouthed. I couldn’t believe that they had gone to that extent, taken it that far. And, I’d always ask myself why. Why did she have to say that, why did he have to do that? And, when I couldn’t find the answer within me, which was always, I’d throw that question to God. Why, why, why, Lord?
Well, He never answered me. Or, perhaps He did, but I never heard His answer, because I was so busy with my own emotions. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to notice it. The last time however, things took a different turn. I asked my usual why and He answered me – with a when and why of His own! ‘When are you going to learn to just let go? Why can’t you just forgive and forget?’
Certainly, it wasn’t the answer I expected. But, it was the best answer I could receive, and I’ll tell you why. You can’t always control what people say or do to you, so, you can never completely avoid being hurt again in some other stage in your life. But, you can always, in all ways, control how you react, and what you do with what they do. You can always choose to let go! You can choose to forgive and forget in all ways. Letting go is not excusing what they did. It is not letting them off the hook, as we are tempted to believe. In any case, it isn’t up to us to judge them. Letting go is choosing to be kind to yourself! When you forgive, you take control of your life, instead of relinquishing it to others. What would be the alternative? Waiting! You would have to wait for the right moment to tell the person how you feel and hope that they will apologize and fix things. That apology might or might not come. Now, if they were ignorant enough to hurt you in the first place, what guarantee do you have that they will wise up all of a sudden and make it all better, exactly as you are hoping or imagining that they will? It is safe to bet that your best shot at fixing the situation is you yourself. You might as well take matters into your hands!
So, what happens to those hurt feelings? What do you do with those emotions you carry inside of you? Do you just bottle them up inside? Bank them for next time? No, certainly not. That wouldn’t be wise either, because the tendency is, they’ll grow inside you and lead to even bigger resentment. Dear friend, the minute you choose to let go, God will choose to hold on – always at your permission, of course. If you allow Him, He will take care of all that is bothering you. Try it! Whenever you are hurt or deeply disappointed by what others have done to you, pour out all that is going on inside of you to Him, as you would with a friend. He makes a better listener than all your best friends put together! See, He doesn’t interrupt. And, best of all, He says the right things, just at the right time. He is perfect, as is everything He does!
Moments will come in your life when others, unfortunately, will act unkindly towards you. Sometimes, it’s not even because they are unkind people, but simply because they are human. They don’t always do or say the right things, even though their intensions are right. When such moments come, you have a choice. You can do things as you have always done them, try to fix it all by yourself, rent and rave, and demand the apology that is seldom satisfactory. Or you can choose to act differently. You can choose to take matters into your own hands, be kind to yourself and just let it all go. Let them off the hook and lean on God for comfort. Trust me, it’s the best thing you can do!