Thursday, 27 January 2011

How to gain trust.

Trust… don’t we all want to be trusted? Whether it is a teenager who wants their parents to trust them by giving them more curfew time, or a mature adult who wants their boss to trust them by giving them more work responsibilities, we constantly want people to trust us. It is gratifying to have people count on us. Many times we become offended when people don’t show much trust in us. We seem to think that trust is automatic. But, to be trusted, you have to be trustworthy. In other words, trust is earned, not given automatically. So the question is, are you trustworthy? Can you truly be trusted?

Well, that all depends on you, really. In order to gain trust and be trustworthy, you have to be a reliable person – a man or woman of their word. And, that’s where many people lose trust. We are constantly given opportunities to gain the trust of those around us. It is what we do with those opportunities that determines whether or not they can end up trusting us with more. If we are unreliable with the little we’ve been given, it would be naïve and unfair of us to expect to be entrusted with more.

So, if you are struggling to have your parents, or your boss, or your spouse trust you, examine yourself and try to see what it is you do with the little trust they’ve given you. If your boss gives you a task, can he trust that you will carry it out as asked? Or does he need to be on your case, constantly calling you and observing you, demanding that you meet your deadline? Can your parents trust that you will meet your current curfew, or do they always have to be worried about you, because you are not home at the time that you’ve said you will be home? Does your husband not trust you with his money, because you do not stick to budget as agreed? It’s a hard truth to face, but if you are being kept on a tight leash where trust is concerned, it is likely that you have not done enough to earn that trust.

So, what then makes a person reliable and therefore trustworthy? Being a person of your word – doing what you said you will do, when you said you will do it. In other words, doing what is expected of you. It's that easy. When you are reliable with little, people will feel comfortable to trust you with more. They will have the assurance that you will do whatever you’ve agreed to do. So, before you become upset with your boss, or your parents for their lack of trust in you, check to see whether or not you have earned their trust. The more faithful you are with the little, the more you will be given.


Mzwandile said...

Word!! Keeping ur word is everything. Although mina I sometimes find that people trust me more than I really want to be trusted, strangely enough

Sandra Ulume said...

This is a really good post and has given me alot of insight. Its true we always want to be trusted because no one wants to be untrustworthy, its not a god feeling, however when we do keep our word we build or for those who have lost trust of people rebuild trust in others again.

Thanks Dna Moti

amatesd said...

This makes me think about my trust with my parents and now i know exactly what to do so they can trust me more. Thank you!

Ellie Mbuima said...

Thanks for the word of faith Mrs,
With me the problem I had or sincerely still do is trusting people because they were people i trusted with little things or I had faith in them and when they dissappointed me it made me loose the trust I had for them and made me put a barrier towards others. To relate it back on what you said, with the same feeling I got from that I would not like that to happen to anyone else. so therefore, we really must do what we say and keep the promises we made because only from there we will be able to be trusted for more.

AmazingLife said...

In my situation, I am a senior staff who knew most of the products. I got a new superior who is much younger than me - both age and duration in this company. When she is going for leave, she will disseminate her tasks to other subordinate that are junior and younger than me. I am not a crazy power but felt offended as she do not have trust in me to handle the tasks. Pls advise.

Motlatsi said...

Dear AmazingLife,

This is an opportunity for you to gain your Supervisor's trust by showing that you work even when you are not delegated jobs. Go the extra mile in your job, taking advantage of your experience. As a more experienced worker, you should be able to spot any loopholes that junior workers may leave. Fill these loopholes, do the things they missed, but not with a proud spirit, rubbing their mistakes in their faces. No, do so with a serving spirit, showing that you are someone they can always rely on when they need help. I'm quite sure this attitude will gain you the trust and respect of not only your supervisor, but of the juniors as well, and that trust may come in handy if one day you are chosen to be their supervisor. May God bless you.

Neha said...

Trust is all important. It is the cement of relationships. It is the assurance we give to each other - You can count on me! In many cases it is the foundation of the relationship.
But it takes time to build trust. Constant and consistent repetition and assurance is required to develop trust. When it is breached, it needs to be amended asap. It is fragile in the beginning , but stands like a rock eventually if we work on it.
Nice post!

Sabrina Durant said...

Be a woman or man of your word, thats what I received from this post. Whatever I say I must carry out the task. How else can I be trusted with much more. This is another eye opener for me and what I need to change.

Gabby said...

I really like this post. it is so true how can we expect to be more entrusted when we don't fulfill the trust that we are given.