Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Diary of the 21 day Fast - More of Him!

I indeed baptized you with water, but He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit. (Mark 1:8)

When I read this verse on Day 1 of Daniel’s fast for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, it was as if I was reading it for the first time. The Holy Spirit isn’t unattainable as the devil would have me and you believe. He isn’t someone you have to work hard to receive. He is a gift promised to you by God. God will baptize you with the Holy Spirit! No doubt, no question, just a promise. God’s Word cannot return to Him empty and if He’s promised, He WILL fulfil His promise! So, I began the fast excited, claiming this promise for myself, knowing without a shadow of doubt that His Spirit would be poured out on me and I would be renewed some time in these 21 days. It was only a matter of time. My excitement was almost tangible, because I wanted this renewal. Then, the million dollar question hit me, the challenge... are you ready for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit?

‘Are you ready for me?’ the Holy Spirit asked me, ‘Because when you seek me, I will come. But when I come, know this, I will not accept you to block me from working through you. When I come, I will not accept you putting barriers in my way. It is all or nothing. You either give me full reign, or nothing. I WILL NOT accept to be tied up inside of you, imprisoned, quietened, restricted, powerless, helpless.’ At that moment, I understood His frustration – frustration caused by my own doubts and insecurities! They made the Holy Spirit dormant inside of me, unable to act! 

Familiar thoughts:

  •          I am not good enough, someone else can do a better job than me.
  •          Who am I? Let me remain in my place.
  •          I’m not ready, God still needs to prepare me.
  •          I don’t have any conditions, choose another one, please Lord.
  •          I don’t know how to speak properly.
  •          I am going to mess up.

 When you look at these sentences above, what do they all have in common and in abundance? That’s right, the word ‘I’. Fact is, when you are insecure and doubtful, it only means one thing. You are still alive. In order for the Holy Spirit to work inside of you, you need to surrender 100% to Him. The more you hold on to your identity, to the way you are, your mannerism, the less of Him will exist in you! It’s a simple Maths equation – more of Him, less of you, more of you, less of Him - all of Him, none of you. You have to give Him total reign. When He says jump, you simply say, ‘How high, Lord.’ And not, ‘Erm Lord, I have a blister on my left foot, remember?’

Come to think of it, in honest fact, we are not good enough, we are nothing, we are far from ready, we have no conditions, we don’t know anything and we are likely to mess up. That’s why the Work is His not ours. All we have to do is allow Him to use us. We are just simple instruments! That's true humbleness! True humbleness isn't being filled with doubts and insecurities, as many believe. True humbleness is surrendering your will to His 100%.


Sabrina Durant said...

Yes Ms Moti I agree with you 100%on that one because when I woke up this morning I made a prayer like no other during this 21 days fast and I just said to God look, I don't want to just be me and do my way. I want You to be the One that takes 100% of me and wherever You send me I will go, Whatever You want me to do I will do. I didn't want it to be empty words anymore but truly take me where You will. At the end of the day You know what is best for me, and as for me I know nothing. I have taken too many chances doing it my way, I have wasted sooo much time doing it my way. When I look back I just think to myself WOW, not one thing that I held on to, do I have now. No boyfriend to take your place just You Lord. I am so happy to have Gods Spirit inside of me, but I won't let it stop there. I will keep seeking, hearing and doing His will until the day I am with Him and forever more after that.

Sibon said...

I couldn't agree more. We must empty ourselves to the point where there is nothing of our will left inside of us and then, only then is He able to pour out all of Him to us :)