Sunday, 8 May 2011

Overcoming my need for acceptance...

I’m sure you can remember a time when you clearly noticed that something was wrong with a loved one and when you asked them about it, they brushed off your attempt to talk and told you everything was fine. They tried to make light of the situation and to give you the impression that everything was well, when in fact you could tell without any doubt that they were not sincere with you. They were hiding something from you.  

That is exactly how people treat God. As Christians we have a tendency to want to show our best side to God, or rather, what we think is our best side. We want to impress Him so much, we think we have to put up a show with Him, even when things aren’t well with us. Because we want to earn His approval, we come before His presence and we pray the ‘right prayer’, we say the right things. We ignore what is inside of us and expect Him to be impressed by the beautiful words He hears coming out of our mouths. But, all the while He can see that those words lack sincerity and knows that something is wrong with us, which we are refusing to share with Him. All the while, He is waiting for us to open up to Him about our worries and concerns, so that He can embrace and help us.

That is exactly how I finally broke free of my insecurity – of my deep need of approval. In a prayer, I told God exactly how I felt. I left no stone inside of me unturned. I hid absolutely nothing from Him. I emptied myself before Him. I told Him all about how insignificant I felt, how unworthy and worthless I felt, how I felt guilty about all the wrong things I did in the past, but that I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. I forgot that others around me were praising Him, were saying all these beautiful things to Him, all I cared about was being truthful. And when I did that, He reached out to me like a father to a daughter. That’s when I understood the truth!

God chose to sacrifice His Son so He could have this intimate relationship with me... WITH ME!!! He wanted me to be a part of Him so much, that He was willing to gamble His only Son for that. He did all that for me, because HE accepted me. GOD ACCEPTED ME! This is a simple statement, one I have always known from the get go. It made sense logically, but that day it became God’s revelation to me. It finally hit me that God not only accepted me, but actually sacrificed a lot so He could have this special relationship with me. After that, it ceased to matter to me who else accepted me. I no longer felt the need to be accepted by others, because no matter how special those people were to me, their acceptance would always be inferior to God’s. None of them could offer me a more perfect acceptance than God’s. I already had the best. I needed nothing else.

If you are struggling with insecurities and are seeking answers in this blog post, know this: Only God can truly help you break free of those insecurities. Only the action of the Holy Spirit, revealing to you your importance as a soul before God, can help you break free of a need to be accepted by others. And, how do you reach God? You reach Him through your sincerity! No beating about the bush, no pretending, no holding back! When you are that sincere with Him, you move Him to act compassionately towards you. Finally, the Word of God ceases to be only theory to you and becomes a personal revelation. Don’t take what I’ve written as my experience literally. Maybe for you, it won’t take understanding that Jesus died for you to have that moment that makes you break through your insecurities. That’s what it took for me, because that’s how God chose to reach out to me. Perhaps to you He will reach out differently, in a way that will make sense to you. But, in order for each and every one of us to reach God and move Him to reach out to us, we all need to be sincere with Him. We need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable before God, because that is a sign of our dependence on Him and that’s when His action is strongest in our lives.

But He [Christ] said to me [Paul], “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

2 comments:

L E V said...

Hello Moti,

So profound! Very strong notes!

Moti, you don't know me, but I know your name and have seen your various photos, gorgeous photos I might add, on Facebook. Every time I'd come across your pictures, I'd say to myself "who is she?", and before I knew it, I was requesting to be-friend you on Facebook. Thank you for accepting me, by the way!

How is it that such a stunning woman such as yourself w/ this uniquely-exotic name, married to a pastor, and undoubtedly admired by other women, have insecurities? That intrigued me....

Moti, you held my attention, I read and re-read your piece and am encouraged by your candor and willingness to share your experience w/ us.

If I may ask you this question... are there women who've come into the Church late in life w/ virtually no family to speak of nor any attachments, who've just been existing, going from one trial to the next? Do you know of any such person who's been delivered through the Holy Spirit? I'd be interested in reading her story.

Moti, one of the most painful thing in life is being alone, having no support, being angry, resentful, fearful, misunderstood and not knowing how to love others - pretty bad combination, huh? Again, if you know of a woman who's gone through all this, has been healed and is now thriving - I'd appreciate reading about her.

Again, thank you for your notes, looking forward to the next one!

LillyEV

Micheline Kawende said...

This post is really touching, as many of us feel that we need to be accepted by our friends, family or society etc. This will never be the case of filling the gap of acceptance that people crave for, as we will not always please people. We should never forget that God accepts us, as He came for us. We should always be sincere towards Him despite us maybe feeling weak or strong. As He is the Only One that can strengthen us!