Monday, 16 January 2012

Moti Answers: I don't like my body!

Good Afternoon Mrs. Moti!

I am writing this email, because I identified myself a lot with you!

I ask you please guide me, for I am so ashamed of exposing myself and asking for guidance, because of something that happened. Reading your articles, I came across something I had forgotten long ago and other things, which I’ve hidden deep inside me, because I can’t share them with anyone.

Mrs Moti, I don’t like my body very much, if you know what I mean. Despite my family always telling me I’m beautiful, I do not feel that way. I wish I had more curves. Sometimes I wonder why I do not have more curves. It may seem silly, but when I put on a dress, I look shapeless. Maybe, the fact that I was given so many nicknames as a child and even now influences me a lot. How can I learn to like my body?

My greatest dream is to get married and have a family, to be happy like everyone else. But, I'm too scared to get married, so I end up telling myself I don’t want to get married, because I am very afraid of living a fruitless marriage and having a husband who does not love me, not to mention having many fights. How do I know if he’s the right person?

Thank you!

I count on your description!

God bless!

Dear friend,

Congratulations for having overcome your shame and seeking help.

While reading your email, I became very revolted! Not because you wrote anything wrong, to the contrary, when I was reading your email, it seemed like I was reading an email that I could have written myself a few years ago.

I believe all women struggle with shame and insecurities. Let me explain where my revolt came from. These thoughts of shame, these fears and insecurities, that seem so much like our own, do not really come from us. They come from the devil! They are a weapon he uses against us women, taking advantage of our emotions. Do you want to know how I overcame my insecurities? There was only one way – revolt! I realized that my insecurities and shame were hindering God's plan for my life. Then I became revolted!

Friend, you cannot pay attention to these thoughts. To the contrary, you have to reject them them. You have to start doing the opposite of what your shame commands. If I had listened to my shame, I would not be writing you now, for I believe, because I am South African, this email should be full of grammatical errors. But you know what, I do not care! I am not led by my shame, but my faith! And, my faith is to help you. That is precisely what you also have to do. You must begin to reject the shame and start acting to the contrary. Start appreciating your looks and not hiding under baggy clothes. Observe exemplary women around you, who you admire, and start following their examples. Appreciate the compliments you receive from your family and do not reject them. That way, you will gain more confidence in yourself.

Do not let shame prevent God's plan (which is to form a family and be happy) to be fulfilled in your life. It will be a daily battle, but you will overcome, because you are stronger! You can always count on my help.

I bless you!


Josephine said...

I can identify very much with the writer of the problem, I used to be the same and probably a whole lot worse! My insecurities and sheer self loath led me to do many things that only hurt myself, i had an eating disorder because i thought i was too fat, I was obsessed with exercise and dieting, and every negative word or thought i stored it in my heart and the pain was unbearable.
it’s very hard to love yourself because you feel consumed by the hate you feel for yourself. This is not the will of God but the will of the devil. What better way to destroy us then to get us to hate ourselves. One thing I never did was to seek help i stored it all up inside and never sought any help.
Please do as Mrs Moti says - reject those thoughts and do as i did start looking at yourself the way God does - from the inside! God values you so value yourself. I bet you are beautiful but you have to believe it, God made you unique, wouldn’t it be boring if we all looked the same? You are special! :-)

Anonymous said...

I can also completely relate, because I also did not like my body - I atcually wanted to go under the knife and have surgery.

When I came to the Church, I realised, the way I felt about myself (even to the point of killing myself) was only the will of satan.

What I learnt, that God loves us no matter what since He created us, any other negative thoughts about ourselves are from the devil.

janett said...

Since I can remember I had been insecure all my life. I had and accident when I was 6 months old and it let me with a big scar across my stomach. I always was embarrass of my body. Once I got together with my husband I was still too ashamed but it was until I got pregnant that my insecurities were worst because I started gaining weight and stretch marks wouldnt help. Now Im still in the processed on changing that and start eating healthier and motivate myself to workout. I just know now that having god in my life things would be so much better.

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sandy.hackney said...

I think our greatest enemy is ourselves, if we think a certain way about ourselves, no matter what people say it will be very hard for us to look at ourselves differently, I used to be someone that think badly about my appearance, mainly because of what people say, I was so used hearing negative things about myself, that if someone said anything positive I wouldn't believe I thought they just lying, but then started to realise that God made me, He created me and He's perfect, so if God being so perfect created me, then that means He created someone beautiful,then I started to think to myself everytime I dislike the way I look, I'm disliking God's precious creation, if I was created this way is for a purpose, I was created to fit my future husband perfectly, human beings are human beings they will find fault, not everyone going to find us beautiful, but as long as we see how beautiful we are, then that's all that matters,God's perfect creation.xx

Anonymous said...

Mrs Moti this is really for me. i'm really struggling alot in school and even at church as i feel so insecure about the way i speak i have a mix accent and sometimes people dont understand me an there have been time when i've shyed away from evangelising becuase i thought people would laugh at me and wouldnt make any sense but i noticed that everytixme i speak to people txheyre inspired and they want to listen but the devil is always trying to stop me from helping others and i only just realise by reading your post. thankyou sooo much and you've really inspired me :)